m...o...o...d...y...

i feel wanna write this blog in mandarin,

but too lazy to do so..

haha...

after exam like really got nothing to do....

a bit too bored...

do u believe that 5.15pm juz nw,

i din eat anything for more than 24hours???

haha... from monday's 8pm until wed's 5pm...

lol...

first time ever i guess...

i spend all my time on my bed watching drama n i finished that series of drama juz in these few days...

never been this crazy b4...

besides watching,

i spent my time on thinking as well....

maybe i'd think too much....

a bit tired n lazy...

well, i thought my mood will be better...

but it seems that it's not getting better..... than ever.....

exam=nightmare

i need to write again...

juz finished a phone call with my mom...

lol....

while i'm having my exam stress over here...

my mom is having trouble with my brother over thr...

she was complaining that my bro is not looking for job for this sem break,

and yet, wasting time in front of the computer...

my bro is the very not outgoing type of guy if compared to me....

my mom always say we should change personality...

my bro is currently studying in UTAR which is very near my house...

my mom said that he has a 2-months break until the end of december,

but he did not try to find any part time job or temp job to fill the holidays up....

he used to work at a recycle centre, also near my house,

but that centre has stopped operating....

and so, my bro considered 'unemployed'...

do u know e-book???

i forgotten e-book means novels in handphones or computer....

but my bro love to read novels using computer....

he can spend one whole day in front of the computer juz reading the stories without food...

well, on the other hand,

another thing that worried my mom was,

his education lar...

addicted to those stories in the computer makes him did not really spend much time on studies....

my mom claimed that when she works, my bro will go to uni,

when she's on leave, he'll stay at home....

my mom really gt no idea wat is he up to...

i was told by my bro that he always go to the uni to online....

online to download more 'e-stories'....

is he going make good future for he himself and also the family???

well, when this is the prob,

then here comes a pressure on me...

if he doesn't, m i going to make good future for me myself and also the family???

hahaha...

i've already got enough stress by can't make it to install all the programmes needed by the exam into my tiny stupid little brain....

thinking i m going to grad in not more than a years time from nw...

my brain is already conquered by the phrase "exam is not everything in this world!!"...

how m i going to change the phrase to ''scoring good results might bring a brighter future"??

arrr!!!!!

pls help me to study and sit for the last paper on next monday!!!!!!!!!!

who wanna volunteer???

a memory to share....

it's a bit too early to wake up n a bit too late to go to bed... i know....

juz finish playing pet society...

n while playing n visiting a fren, makes me think of one incident....

it was during my form 5 if i have not mistaken...

there was one morning when teacher was absent,

as usual, my classmates (including me lar) were trying to make a mess in the classroom by walking around n talking as loud as we could..

then while i was talking with a guy,

this guy all of a sudden trying to play with my palms,

(err, in another word, touch my hands lar)....

then...

haha...

so happened my bf (ex bf lar, and also 1st bf) walked passed my classroom n witnessed the whole scene....

n guess wat he did???

wat would u do if u were my bf at that moment??

well,

haha....

he took a chair n threw the chair towards that guy's direction,

but, luckily din kena the guy...

err....

then they were sort of like fighting gua.....

(could not really remember what happened after that)

my classmates were trying to help to defense gua,

but they din dare to do much coz that time,

my ex bf was with his frens,

and,

he was that type that kind of influential in school at that time (maybe bcoz he was taking his form 6 study-eldest student in the school and was a prefect),

besides influential,

he was a bit too fierce that time lar.... (actually a lot very fierce)

so my classmates were like afraid of him....

luckily that time no teacher in was bcoz of attending meeting which required most teacher's attendance,

so no teacher actually know about the whole incident...

ever since that incident,

that guy never talked to me even until we finish form 5....

(or i should say until now??)

well, it's a good thing,

it is also a bad thing to be....

y would i suddenly think of this???

it is bcoz i was visiting frens in pet society (a FB game that i guess everybody knows),

then happened to visit that guy fren of mine...

then trying to flash back how we stopped talking to each other....

then the picture came into mind....

^^

k lar....

good morning to the world n good night to me!!!

a terrible day!! with terrible mood!!

wow!!! today really beh tahan until i wanna blog!! but i will make it a short one (coz i wanna continue with my FB game n drama... ^^)

i feel i'm really dumbo...

this afternoon when i was eveready for my exam at around..... ok lar, i was a bit too late for the exam as i always do... my exam starts at 3.30pm, i started to move my butt off the chair around 3.20pm.... get my stationaries, phone, purse, jacket n matrix card, n the next thing was, i was out of the room....

without my car key n room key....

wat the.....

the 1st thing came into mind was "stupid jinni!! wat r u doing at this moment???!!!!''... or GOD actually wanted to hint me need not to go for exam??? ^^ (=.= think too much)

the 2nd thing was call for help of course...

ok, the 3rd thing here was, although not that serious, but, i realised that i'd left my exam slip in car.... in purpose... (stupid me!!)

finally reached the exam hall a little bit late... ^^ everyone was looking at this miserable lady to walk in while they r ready for their exam to get started... i headed to the officer n told her that i've lost my exam slip n ask her to check my seat number for me.... (at that moment i felt so lucky that i did not remember wrongly where was my exam..) err, she asked me for my subj's code....

=.=

excuse me!! who would go n remember the subj code?? i thought u should know it better than me as u r guarding the hall today??? then i find myself on that paper... no need even one minute to trace my name.... fine!!! 122... n it was so far away from the front.... i need to walk pass 21 tables and chairs to reach my seat... lol... although it was not the first time for this sem's exam(i mean walking so far while everyone actually staring at u, probably not everyone but, many!!), it still make me feel uneasy...

finally i can start doing my investment paper in the hall... ok, the 1st question, it was..... quite easy... n at that point onwards, i should start hating myself... is it because it's a bit easy??? then i started to write as slowly as possible.... it took me 45 minutes to finish the 1st question... lol.... wat a stupid thing to do.... for the following questions, i reserved those that do not involve calculation for the last n do those calculation 1st..... the other stupid thing is here.. wat's wrong of finishing the questions one by one??? while i've already read through the questions n think of the answers.... so i continue with calculations... i realised i forgotten to bring an eraser while i was drawing a graph... *miserable* ok... try not make any mistake with pencil.... then count count... then stuck... then look around... continued counting... finally, finish all the calculations(that i know)... back to writing... half an hour left for that, while i have another 4 questions that require long answers... T.T

do u think i managed to answer all???

haha... i'll keep it to myself lar....

but anyway,

i really feel that i was being very stupid for those few hours....

ok, done, i was out of the hall....

n went for dinner with my fren....

n back to room....

hmmm....

i was trying very hard to open my room door with a method that is very widespread among my college residents....

but, i failed to open it...

then one of my malay fren passed by n volunteer to help passionately.. ^^

but she couldn't make it.....

arrr!!!!

i was d*mn pekcek that time!!! i was holding a bunch of things (those things that i took b4 i went for exam) while watching my fren opening the door....

n SWEATING!!!

then a nearby neighbour saw then i asked her for another block's felo's hp number to get spare key from the office.... (en. danny was the one!!)

a very kind of him immediately ask me to wait in front of the office to get the key...

wow!!! i was like...... thank GOD!!! i've finally got a way to get into my room!!!

haha... then went to office.... get the key.... back room.... get my own set of key.... n back to the office to return the spare key.... n there goes a lousy day~~~

** during my exam today right, i observed something... someone been caught cheating for exam... err.... he's a foreign student lar... but dun wan say from which country lar... he went washroom ma, then the staff accompanied him back to his seat n at the same time, his lecturer(also my lecturer) was near his seat, which was also very near to my seat..... then the staff open a piece of paper with lots of wordings on it.... haha... i saw.... then i couldn't hear wat the lecturer told to the staff... but i heard when the student tried to explain, the lecturer was like...... ''i dunno..........."

forgotten wat he said....

my curiosity was one of the killers of my paper today... ~0~

**regarding how i tried to open my room door without key right, not really convenient to tell arr... coz i'm still staying here... wait till i grad ady then i tell.... but i believe most of u knew it....

today is the 4th day...

it's a rainy day again....

i wonder when wil this kind of life end????

bored...

tired...

i m studying on my table...

with my table light on but not room light...

i suddenly fell in love with the darkness in my room...

it covers my sorrows n tears....

tomoro is my majoring mid term test...

i really hope i can do well in it...

but out of a total of 6 chapters in syllabus,

i'm stil stuck with chapter 2....

aih....

the rain outside getting heavier n heavier...

i used to love rainy days...

do i stil love it?

the sound of the rain drops used to make me feel better....

is it still?

i guess i still love rainy days a lot....

a minute ago,

my heart was as heavy as 100kg...

but now,

at least not even 50kg anymore...

haha...

a silly post...

have a nice rainy day!!!!

.....

I U

---

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
＊誰可以當男朋友，誰只能當普通朋友。＊
普通朋友：半夜會找妳打BBS聊天到很晚。
男朋友：半夜看妳還在BBS上會趕你下線(當然妳可以柪個幾分鐘)。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會找你出去玩,叫妳放棄報告或翹課。
女朋友：他會催妳快寫作業,或者想要跟你討論功課。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：在你生病時，會講好話關心妳。
女朋友：在你生病時，他會關心到你很煩，而且逼你去看醫生。
------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會盡量說好話來討好妳，妳會覺得他很棒。
女朋友：他所說的話，都是關心妳的！但通常像是在命令妳，妳會覺得他幹麻這麼做。
--------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他什麼事情都會配合著你，只要你高興。
女朋友：他會幫你辨別是非，但你會覺得他管太多。
-----------------------------------
普通朋友：他會說他要給你最大的幸福。
女朋友：他只能給你保證，妳跟他在一起，他是最快樂的。
-----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會幫你買消夜，送宵夜，載你上下課。
女朋友：他會幫你買宵夜，不過他會提醒你，吃什麼比較健康。
他會載你上下課，不過要他有順路，因為他不能為你而翹課。
因為他翹課，他成績便會不好，成績不好不會有好工作。
那你們將來日子怎麼會好過，他會想的很遠。
----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他只有想到現在。
女朋友：他已經預見將來，該怎麼自我努力，好給你幸福。

★我要把幸福裝滿.連同我......一起送給你～。。☆

愛上一个人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害

放棄一个人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎

珍惜身旁的每一个人,不要等到失去了

才瞭解到遺憾.和後悔是如此的痛苦....

---

~※→因為愛你.所以放手還你自由←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以不再讓你困擾←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以寧願自己難過←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以我逼自己離開←※~

如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?

如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?

是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?

是否我已離開了....你才感覺的到我對你的好?

...

bla bla bla....

break down!!!!!!!

i'm back from family meeting....

eyes feel very tired...

tired of those tears just now i guess...

but the mind oso feel so....

is it oni him that feel that hard time in this condition?

i feel my condition is better although my heart telling me that it's not...

i wonder wat u guys think of me if u know how i feel....

i m wrong...

i m wrong bcoz u say i wrong?

or i m wrong bcoz i m being myself...

i m being selfish?

i guess...

wat should i do?

i felt i was wrong at the very 1st place after i've accepted this...

though,

i got no return...

at that time,

responsible hold me down....

but at this point,

wat can i rely on?

it's actually not happy to be who i m now...

i know i din control myself well....

but i've done the most i can....

it's a though job for me already...

i never thought...........

i know i can't do it once i start thinking...

i m not perfect..

no one would..

it's been so long since i last cry for this...

i've actually promised myself not to cry until the last day of the event...

i break this promise...

i m having a hard time now...

why is it now n not few months ago?

i admit i'm not good...

i never will be good again....

i just hope everything will be over as soon as possible...

this is really killing me...

even thousands of word can't describe my heart now...

i could not talk any longer...

i m tired....

really tired....

家.....

好久没有写Blog了，

这次写，也不知道是抱着什么心态。

今早刚拍了大合照，

可是是有遗憾的,

有一位家庭成员缺席了。

然后回到房间，

开了cari,看了去年国大中秋的评语，

感触很深，让我回想起当初加入国大中秋的点点滴滴。

从第一年，

PT让我这个家住不远，却又未能时常回家的大学生，

在UKM里，有了家，

我尽力为这个家付出，

因为这个家给了我安全感，

因为它让我看到，其实，一个大型团体里的成员也可以如此的和平和没有私心。

我在高中六时，因为参与了很多不同的活动，

令我对于团体，有了不好的概念和印象。

PT推翻了我这个不好的印象，也impress了我。

所以，

我继续给了它更多的时间与心思。

第二年了，

可能因为天真和受保护，

很享受这个家的感觉，

也见证了，这个团体，不是只是‘团体’而已。

第二年相对的，比第一年辛苦，

可是，也相对的，比第一年快乐，

归属感，也多了好多好多。

所付出的汗与泪，

已经被所得到的喜与乐给淹没了。

当初的日夜颠倒，也无所谓，

因为到了舞台表演当晚，

我看到了，

其实一直支持我（我们）的人，

有上千人，

那还有什么值得遗憾的？

刚才读了CARI，眼里的泪珠，不小心，掉了下来。

想起当初的每一点，每一滴，

当初单纯的PT，现在竟变了，

大家争持不休的话题,

何谓呢？

‘它’为了文化而存在的价值，

还存在吗？

第三年了，

国大中秋陪伴了无数个大学生，

给了他们无数个不一样的回忆，

而我，

更是经历了，

也经历着，

它的每一个阶段。

我学习了，

可是我成长了吗？

当初对于PT单纯的印象，

似乎慢慢淡忘了。

被眼前的事物，

扰乱了我的思绪，

当初对‘它’的热诚，

被一团误解‘它’的人，

打散了。

这才察觉到，

我的‘心’，

原来有了变化。

当初站稳的信念，

竟然......

我要如何把这个家里的我，

找回来？

找得回吗？

pls join me.... for our home....

THIS IS THE WORLD’S FIRST GLOBAL ELECTION, BETWEEN EARTH AND GLOBAL WARMING.

On March 28 you can VOTE EARTH by switching off your lights for one hour.
Or you can vote global warming by leaving your lights on.
The results of the election are being presented at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009. We want one billion votes for Earth, to tell world leaders that we have to take action against global warming.



WHY SHOULD I VOTE EARTH?
This year, Earth Hour has been transformed into the world’s first global election, between Earth and global warming. For the first time in history, people of all ages, nationalities, race and background have the opportunity to use their light switch as their vote – Switching off your lights is a vote for Earth, or leaving them on is a vote for global warming. WWF are urging the world to VOTE EARTH and reach the target of 1 billion votes, which will be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009. This meeting will determine official government policies to take action against global warming, which will replace the Kyoto Protocol. It is the chance for the people of the world to make their voice heard.

Earth Hour began in Sydney in 2007, when 2.2 million homes and businesses switched off their lights for one hour. In 2008 the message had grown into a global sustainability movement, with 50 million people switching off their lights. Global landmarks such as the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Rome’s Colosseum, the Sydney Opera House and the Coca Cola billboard in Times Square all stood in darkness.

In 2009, Earth Hour is being taken to the next level, with the goal of 1 billion people switching off their lights as part of a global vote. Unlike any election in history, it is not about what country you’re from, but instead, what planet you’re from. VOTE EARTH is a global call to action for every individual, every business, and every community. A call to stand up and take control over the future of our planet. Over 74 countries and territories have pledged their support to VOTE EARTH during Earth Hour 2009, and this number is growing everyday.
We all have a vote, and every single vote counts. Together we can take control of the future of our planet, for future generations.




VOTE EARTH by simply switching off your lights for one hour, and join the world for Earth Hour.

Saturday, March 28, 8:30-9:30pm. 


Earth Hour 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CRs-7lRlPo


Let's vote for our EARTH!!!
Tell ur friends
let them vote for our mother earth together 


Earth Hour: Vote Earth - The World's first global election

http://www.voteearth2009.org

let the mind wonder~~~

i've FORGOTTEN this secret diary of mine for quite some time ady....

bad me....

went through the holidays....

went through the chinese new year!!

wanna say,

happy chinese new year again to my fellow frens b4 it's too late...

may 2009 wil b a better year for everyone in all aspect...

i'm now alone in the room...

my roommate went back b4 i reached room after my whole day class yesterday...

supposed to be the day b4 the night falls...

well,

she always go home...

even more frequent than me...

at this point,

my mind really wonder wildly...

it's gone far n out of control...

i've been bz for the whole january until i din go home for the month until chinese new year....

i might went home,

but it's more like a stop-by station for me to take a rest...

haha...

coz when i was coming back campus from 1utama,

i juz stop by my house for not more than 1/2 hour then i moved on to my journey to campus...

then during the whole month of jan,

i was bz with red crescent's activities n oso pesta tanglung's meeting...

for red crescent,

i needed to assist my head section leader to train juniors for first aid competition...

the competition was divide into several part,

mock case, bandaging, theory, community base n marching.....

well...

bcoz we din really train them b4 the previous holiday starts,

so,

those few weeks' trainings were actually intensive training....

we spent lots of the night on an empty space named dataran gemilang in ukm practising marching...

i stil remember,

one of the night,

when many of us were hungry,

but the training was not end yet,

i was too lazy to drive,

my fren took me on a motorbike ride to go to fasa 15's mamak stall to tapao food for others.....

erm,

i never really dare to ride on a motorbike....

i never ride on a motorbike on any main road b4...

so it was the 1st time on main road...

but the experience was very cool....

the wind was strong,

the night was dark,

the car was little,

n the ride was safe.....

even it was a very short journey thru n flo,

i enjoyed it a lot....

it was the 1st time i put on a helmet on my head too....

during the exact competition date,

when i was using my hp to record their marching,

i had a very weird feeling....

it's like,

i've won a very valuable prize....

a prize that u can't code a price for it....

the team is the prize...

not their performance on those 2 days....

then during my chinese new year holiday,

i've lost my dee dee(my beloved hamster).....

this is it....

that morning,

as usual,

i woke up around noon...

then i went to c my lovely hamsters...

but it was shocking when i saw a bloody hairy hamster in the cage...

n it was dee dee...

the worst part of the whole thing was,

it died bcoz of the other hamster bite it till death....

the cruel creature....

when dee dee died,

his whole body fulled with blood....

even some of the bedding got his blood...

he was like n strengthless little baby,

been tortured like never b4....

it was partially my fault,

i din realise bee bee was so desparate n angry until she did all she can to run out of the ball i used to separate both of them....

grrrr.....

then i buried the dead dee dee in the garden across the road in front of my house....

now bee bee is alone...

i dun dare to touch her anymore....

my bro neither....

we both hated her so much....

whenever i saw her,

i remember of him laying in the cage with the blood....

but my mom stil cares for it...

she even asked me if bee bee wil die of loneliness....

i...

wouldn't care....

if she really die of loneliness,

she asked for it....

there was 1 night,

when she was located in a tank,

she managed to run away...

but i found out she was juz in the garden...

i din even dare to catch it back to the tank...

but instead,

i asked my bro to catch it....

beebee-phobia...

i got no idea y she went so crazy in a sudden....

@.@

if u r reading this n feel wanna keep my bee bee...

u r welcomed to come to me...

i'll be glad...

then back to my uni life...

after red crescent,

i stil have pesta tanglung to busy with....

i've always been in dilemma with this activity...

it's a challenge for me...

i never have had the courage to announce the pose i'm holding in this activity this year.....

i've always think it's way too far for me to complete this task nicely even not perfectly....

i'm a stubborn girl with lots of weakness....

that time i went for pesta ang pow's exhibition in ukm,

there was a stall,

they do finger scanning n analise the character of u....

i went...

for fun...

as it was free...

the lady told me,

i m the kind of person that is quite confident of myself.

but at times,

i will doubt on my decisions....

i will think too much once i've made a decision...

mmmm....

kinda accurate actually....

haha....

sorry.....

juz got up from my bed...

wanted to sleep,

but failed.....

suddenly remember that my blog been abandoned for quite some time....

so i'm here again....

feeling sad n moody as usual...

i dunno wat's wrong with me.....

i'm so not me recently....

i'm not as confident as usual....

i'm not as optimistic as i USED to be....

i'm not as energetic as i used to be....

i thought this new sem would be a new beginning for me...

but i started to think were all the decisions i made suitable for me?

i feel so tired each n everyday....

i dunno y...

tired of thinking?

or tired of activities??

besides feeling tired,

at most of the nights which i felt extremely sleepy,

i couldn't fall asleep....

is it something wrong with me?

i thought this sem would be better than last sem...

but....

for my course,

i normally can register a max of 20 credit hour for each sem...

each subj normally takes up 3 credit hours....

i need to take at least 18 credit hours this sem to clear my credit hours to make sure i can grad in 3 yrs time...

but guess how many unit i've registered by now??

12 only....

1 subj,

i needed to register manually...

that lect had sent a letter to the office but dunno wat is the staffs doing....

till now stil not yet register for us....

then one more subj,

the prior subj for my majoring paper.....

i'd registered a lecturer that i know i'll take forever to understand his lecture,

then i got an idea by attending another lecturer's class for my understanding n attend my own lecturer's class for attendance...

at 1st the idea was perfect,

but things started to go wrong...

when i told my case to the other lecturer,

she asked me to try to go on our registration website to register for her class as the office might has expended the number of students in each class....

then i drop my class n tried to register for hers,

but failed...

n,

that subj remain unregistered...

i went to her to ask her about that...

she asked me to go to the office to figure it out...

i went n office staffs said she couldn't do anything if without the letter from lecturer....

i....

went down to the lecturer's room again....

this time i got no idea wat else could i say anymore,

so,

me n my fren stood outside her room for a very long time,

then finally enter her room to ask her wat to do next...

guess wat she said?

she asked me to juz enter her class....

she'll settle for me someday...

(the time period for subj registration is only by this week....

that someday, 

is when???)

i need that subj to take my majoring paper next sem....

n without this subj,

i can't take any of my majoring paper....

wat to do?

my fren told me that this lecturer is very kind....

she'll help me with it...

but stil,

how if she really dun wanna help me?

haha...

no need to grad...

quite a good idea...

start working...

or change majoring?

even changing majoring will bring lots of problems....

wat the heck!!!

beside studies....

i think i not good in handling activities as well...

i started to feel fed up with running up n down to take things n apply things....

or is it time management??

wat can i do when 2 meetings happen at the same time?

it's not my fault...

right?

i guess i'm juz giving excuses to myself...

last week,

i spent most of the nights in the room,

watching dramas n movies...

now,

i spend each n everynight with meetings n activities...

n trainings....

maybe it's only this month....

but it's tiring enough already....

until i dun have time left for some other things,

that's important enough to my life...

maybe it's the evil spirit that starts to take over me again....

i'm so DEAD!!!!

the word DEAD reminds me of something....

last month,

err,

actually jus 2-3 weeks ago,

my aunt's bf juz passed away...

her bf died of heart attack...

he actually already had a medical appointment on 8th jan,

but,

who would know things like this will happen...

my aunt told me that the day that he passed away,

he juz gave her a call in the morning n that afternoon itself,

she received that bad news....

my aunt never officially intro this man to the family....

she never even officially admit that she has a bf...

is bcoz he's 22 years older than her....

but none of us dunno about it...

juz that we avoided the topic in front of her...

but even she doesn't tell the elders about it,

she did tell me...

n i saw his photo b4...

on n off when he sent my aunt back,

i happened to see his face as well...

n so,

i 'know' the existence of him in her life/heart....

when my aunt told me about that bad news,

i dunno how to respond to it....

she told me in the car while i driving her to take medicine....

at that time,

i could only ask her not to be sad....

can c that she'd cried so much for that news....

can c that her mind is full with ???? n tears n heartbreaks....

he din leave a word for her...

she wasn't prepared when the last time he talk with her on the phone...

so many words remain unspoken...

i hate this man....

he gave my aunt so many sweet memories...

n yet,

he din give her a nice ending for those memories....

now that he'd gone....

she'd lost a part of herself.....

she got nothing from him....

totally nothing....

he knew the age does matter....

but he still went after my aunt....

this is wat he called love...

which i dun understand....

i hate him....

he makes my aunt cries a thousand nights...

for someone that wouldn't be back....

hOmiE......

I just came back from s’pore…
Feel so nice to reach home…

But,
When I realized that my result for last semester will be released 2days later,
(which is on 24th dec, 1 day b4 x’mas)
I feel like leaving this realistic world…
Pressure is very abstract,
N so,
I dun really know where does my pressure comes from….
My mom?
Not really…
She’d always said as long as I’ve done my best…
My scholarship?
Yes but not that much….
The scholarship doesn’t pay me that much either….
My dad?
Nah,
For him,
As long as my result is not that bad….
All these whiles I dunno wat I study for..
I hate to study as much as reading books…
But results never were very bad....
One of my fren,
She’s one of my closest fren since I attended form 6..
Her results used to be better than mine,
But after entering uni,
My results were ahead her…
Nah,
It’s all about luck…
Then each sem when results release,
She’ll be very scared to face the result…
She wouldn’t dare to know her result….
Just like yesterday,
When I talked to her about the result thingy,
She said dun remind her until after Christmas…
Haih…
I seldom think about studies…
Coz I’m afraid when I think,
I’ll not have the determination to get good results again…
But this moment, I wanna know y do I need to study this hard…
Then I realized it’s all bcoz to have a better job opportunity in future…
Y do I need such a bright opportunity in future?
It’s all bcoz of I need to get better pay to have better life…
Y do I need a well paid job?
It’s all about money…
That’s the thing that made me been studying so hard n facing so much pressure…
Hate it!!
Y God created human that has a stupid brain to create ‘money’???
If we dun use money,
We can be as free as a bird,
N as rich as….. my hamsters??
^^
Then u can have love as dreamy as u wish…
Live life without any pressure…
Can go on holiday whenever u feel like going…
Maybe u’ll say if there’s no existence of money,
We can’t go out to have food n entertainment n so on….
Err,
Maybe I’d prefer living without those things…
Who knows that kind of life would not be better…
Err,
Whatever,
It’s just a fantasy…
I hope it’s a fantasy that can come true…

Then one of the person that I miss very much when I was in s’pore was my grandma…
We came home after having dinner…
When I reached home,
My mom said my grandma last night boiled soup….
Then I was thinking she must be hoping us to be back to drink n eat glutinous rice ball with her…
I’ve forgotten that I’d asked her to reserve some glutinous rice ball for me…
But when I asked,
She said those reserved ones were spoilt…
Sad…..
This Chinese festive is all about all family members staying together…
But we were in s’pore…
She must be feeling lonely that night…
Then when I was watching tv programme with her late night,
She starts worrying about my aunt…
She was not back from her work yet…
My aunt of this is very fierce type of daughter…
Well,
U know old ‘lady’…
She always scolds my grandma for small thing or big thing, or nothing….
My grandma sometimes will complain about it,
But she still gets very worry when my aunt’s not back from work in the night….
Even my aunt is so grown up ady…
This is the nature of being a mom I guess…
Although she has 8 daughters n a son,
All r equal to her….
She cares for each n everyone so much….
N she never hoped for return…
Have u watched ‘money not enough 2’?
She only needs someone to listen to her…
But her kids might just either no time,
Lazy,
Too busy,
Or dun like to listen to her craps…
N those craps were my pass times when I was free…

*22/12/2008, 10.49pm

a HapPy NeW YeaR!!!

haha...

forgotten to post a blog for this brand new year...

well,

i'd always felt nothing special of starting a new year..

but it's a bit different this year...

everyone seems so excited to head on for this new year...

then i was like.....

'oh, new year!!'

hee....

then i guess it was the very 1st time i actually went for countdown....

i couldn't remember if i'd went any countdown for new year b4...

those kind of place n event was juz too pack....

u'll even get 'touches' from 'men'....

or,

unconciously lose some valuables...

my fren asked me to pick either 1utama or sg wang...

well,

as i hate sg wang so much,

for sure i'll pick 1u...

i'd got in a thief's car...

the driver dunno the way,

but he pretended that he knew very well as he always call himself as half of a KL guy...

=.=

then we spent more than an hour to reach 1u from bangi...

dangerously....

then we went to fish&co to have our dinner...

i wanted to go have my fish meal there during my holiday,

but i only manage to go there on the new year eve....

sounds....

ok harr...

then we shopped around...

my driver fren wanted to buy a gift for his girl-friend as an exchange gift...

he wanted to buy a blouse or t-shirt....

his budget was at 1st, RM10....

then me n the other frens bargain for higher price's gift as it's so hard to get something nice with that price...

we made it until RM30...

sounds sad?

but,

he said 'no' to all those choices we'd shown him...

skip that,

the countdown was eventually a very nice experience for me....

neglect the performance,

the fireworks was so nice...

it was so near until the ashes got into my eyes several times,

until i hardly open my eyes when the sparks was too bright....

OH MY GOD!!!

n it lasted for at least 5 minutes....

at that moment,

i swear i'll go again next year(or is it 'this year'?)....

then while the performance was on,

something was actually quite distracting....

the guy n girl in front of me kept talking non stop...

it's ok as the sound from the stage was loud...

but the guy kept moving here n there....

n,

i'd hit him few times but he stil got closer to me....

n when he moved closer to my side,

the girl moved closer to him...

they are abviously not dating couple...

but the guy was acting so itchy,

n the girl....... ~.~

that's the worst part of the night...

after the fireworks,

there was a hong kong singer named justin went on stage to sing....

as he was the hottest spot of the night, 

someone did this.....

c that girl?

there are few other girls supported her with hands n she was trying to snap photo of that hong kong singer,

n mean while,

this guy in white shirt thought i was trying to snap his pic... ^^

i'm glad that 2008 is over...

now that i flashed back,

it's actually not a happy year for me...

it's the year which i got back something that i'd lost long time ago...

it's also the year that i lost that precious things....

the year with the worst result i've had in uni so far...

the year that i'd involved in accident for twice...

the year that i got my car's tires punctured for twice...

that's the worst year in my life...

now all the worst things had gone,

so the best will arrive...

hope for the best in 2009....

hope everyone has the best thing ever in year 2009...

*best wishes*