unsolved dilemma

i'm not in the mood to study again..
n again,
tomoro is another exam..
tomoro's paper is the last..
i'm very glad that my exam is going to over in 12hours time..
hohoho!!

i pack my things few days back..
n i found this long hidden book..
it's named "footprint"..
i'm not a christian..
i'm buddhist..
also so called free thinker lar..
but i found this poem interesting..
it touches my heart..
it sounds like this,
"one night i dreamed a dream.
i was walking along the beach with my Lord.
across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
for each scene, i noticed two sets.
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and one to my Lord.
when the last scene of my life shot before me
i looked back at the footprints in the sand.
there was only one set of footprint.
i realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest time of my life.
this always bothered me
and i questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when i decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
but i'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprint.
i just don't understand why, when i needed You most,
You leave me."
He whispered, "my precious child,
i love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
when you saw only one set of footprint
it was then that I carried you."
that's the poem..
what do u think?
it's a book given to me by my ex bf..
as he's a very religious christian..
the book was written in mandarin..
he can't read mandarin words n i guess that was the reason y he gave me the book..
i never like to read a book..
so i kept the book just like i keep any other books..
i...
i was touched when i read the poem..
then i flipped the book n find for some interesting chapters..
i just read a few page then i gave up..
as it was in mandarin words..
but those names were translated from english..
so..
i dun like to read..
then i gave up..

my dilemma is still in me..
all the more i think i'm ok..
i guess i'm not ok..
my fren once told me..
u might not really know the one u really r..
but ur frens might know u better than u do..
i guess my fren was right in some way..
i was overconfident with myself..
but i do not know myself..
so i'll wait till someone come tell me what kind of person i am..
somehow i hate myself..
i do not love myself enough until i feel that all my frens might love me more than i do to myself..

@.@
still not in the mood to study..
let's pray that tomoro's paper's answer is obvious enough for me to "shoot shoot"..
tomoro's paper is 8.30am...
>.<