break down!!!!!!!

i'm back from family meeting....

eyes feel very tired...

tired of those tears just now i guess...

but the mind oso feel so....

is it oni him that feel that hard time in this condition?

i feel my condition is better although my heart telling me that it's not...

i wonder wat u guys think of me if u know how i feel....

i m wrong...

i m wrong bcoz u say i wrong?

or i m wrong bcoz i m being myself...

i m being selfish?

i guess...

wat should i do?

i felt i was wrong at the very 1st place after i've accepted this...

though,

i got no return...

at that time,

responsible hold me down....

but at this point,

wat can i rely on?

it's actually not happy to be who i m now...

i know i din control myself well....

but i've done the most i can....

it's a though job for me already...

i never thought...........

i know i can't do it once i start thinking...

i m not perfect..

no one would..

it's been so long since i last cry for this...

i've actually promised myself not to cry until the last day of the event...

i break this promise...

i m having a hard time now...

why is it now n not few months ago?

i admit i'm not good...

i never will be good again....

i just hope everything will be over as soon as possible...

this is really killing me...

even thousands of word can't describe my heart now...

i could not talk any longer...

i m tired....

really tired....