Feel so nice to reach home…
But,
When I realized that my result for last semester will be released 2days later,
(which is on 24th dec, 1 day b4 x’mas)
I feel like leaving this realistic world…
Pressure is very abstract,
N so,
I dun really know where does my pressure comes from….
My mom?
Not really…
She’d always said as long as I’ve done my best…
My scholarship?
Yes but not that much….
The scholarship doesn’t pay me that much either….
My dad?
Nah,
For him,
As long as my result is not that bad….
All these whiles I dunno wat I study for..
I hate to study as much as reading books…
But results never were very bad....
One of my fren,
She’s one of my closest fren since I attended form 6..
Her results used to be better than mine,
But after entering uni,
My results were ahead her…
Nah,
It’s all about luck…
Then each sem when results release,
She’ll be very scared to face the result…
She wouldn’t dare to know her result….
Just like yesterday,
When I talked to her about the result thingy,
She said dun remind her until after Christmas…
Haih…
I seldom think about studies…
Coz I’m afraid when I think,
I’ll not have the determination to get good results again…
But this moment, I wanna know y do I need to study this hard…
Then I realized it’s all bcoz to have a better job opportunity in future…
Y do I need such a bright opportunity in future?
It’s all bcoz of I need to get better pay to have better life…
Y do I need a well paid job?
It’s all about money…
That’s the thing that made me been studying so hard n facing so much pressure…
Hate it!!
Y God created human that has a stupid brain to create ‘money’???
If we dun use money,
We can be as free as a bird,
N as rich as….. my hamsters??
^^
Then u can have love as dreamy as u wish…
Live life without any pressure…
Can go on holiday whenever u feel like going…
Maybe u’ll say if there’s no existence of money,
We can’t go out to have food n entertainment n so on….
Err,
Maybe I’d prefer living without those things…
Who knows that kind of life would not be better…
Err,
Whatever,
It’s just a fantasy…
I hope it’s a fantasy that can come true…
Then one of the person that I miss very much when I was in s’pore was my grandma…
We came home after having dinner…
When I reached home,
My mom said my grandma last night boiled soup….
Then I was thinking she must be hoping us to be back to drink n eat glutinous rice ball with her…
I’ve forgotten that I’d asked her to reserve some glutinous rice ball for me…
But when I asked,
She said those reserved ones were spoilt…
Sad…..
This Chinese festive is all about all family members staying together…
But we were in s’pore…
She must be feeling lonely that night…
Then when I was watching tv programme with her late night,
She starts worrying about my aunt…
She was not back from her work yet…
My aunt of this is very fierce type of daughter…
Well,
U know old ‘lady’…
She always scolds my grandma for small thing or big thing, or nothing….
My grandma sometimes will complain about it,
But she still gets very worry when my aunt’s not back from work in the night….
Even my aunt is so grown up ady…
This is the nature of being a mom I guess…
Although she has 8 daughters n a son,
All r equal to her….
She cares for each n everyone so much….
N she never hoped for return…
Have u watched ‘money not enough 2’?
She only needs someone to listen to her…
But her kids might just either no time,
Lazy,
Too busy,
Or dun like to listen to her craps…
N those craps were my pass times when I was free…
*22/12/2008, 10.49pm
No comments:
Post a Comment