i hate examSSSSSS......

since i was a kid,

i started to hate exams....

i believe many other kids feel the same way i did....

or even,

U, 

are feeling wat i feel now....

i stil remember when i was in primary,

whenever i have exams,

before i go to skul for my papers,

my mom would call me to calm me down through the phone...

asking me not to get too nervous,

just try my best n that's it n etc.....

i don't remember that habit lasted how long...

maybe since i was small,

my results always been better than my bro,

so my mom put quite alot of hope in me...

until now,

far away from her,

in this uni all on my own,

i've learnt how to not depend on her so much...

i dunno when i'm far away from her,

she gets more releases or worries...

when i went for nasional service for 3 months,

my aunt told me that my mom din worry so much about me compared to when i stayed at home...

the gap between today's paper n the previous paper is 2 days...

i spent those 2 days to study everything that's in syllabus...

n i managed to finish everything in this early morning around 5am...

then i went to sleep...

i din think it was enough for me to sit for the paper...

i planned to wake up few hours later to do some exercise as it's a paper about applying math in managements....

although i was too sleepy to wake up,

i stil managed to wake up early in the morning...

but i was very lazy to do exercises....

i forced myself to do some though....

coz i slept through all the classes for this subj...

at least i really understand those elements after reading the textbook(in english)...

honestly,

all those chapters were too much for this final paper....

all the calculations required damn lots of time...

damn long...

i studied until reached a point that,

i dun wan to study more this afternoon....

until,

i feel my tears was rolling in my eyes...

i told myself it was not the right time to give up...

i tried to calm myself down...

no cure,

it's messy until i din know wat to do...

then i din feel that nervous b4 i entered the exam hall...

i was quite steady..

but when i started doing the questions,

i know this subj is gone...

i know i've read those things...

but i din know how to do....

1 thing i wanna say is,

the main reason for this was bcoz those questions were in malay while i oni read the english textbook...

a simple word, 

'tahap perkhidmatan',

i took more than 15 minutes to realise that it means 'service level'....

wat the heck!!!

they used to put those english term beside those malay translated terms...

but not this time...

wat is this??!!!

it was so hard for me to even explain my answers in malay coz i read the english text....

then those words seemed so hard to understand bcoz diff from text...

haih...

i really no mood after paper...

plus today i got another mid term test's result...

55...

out of 100....

then thinking,

my car tires punctured yesterday...

yesterday early morning when i was supposed to send my fren to her fac to meet her lecturer,

i realised something wrong with my car....

not far after i left my college,

i stopped by a bus stop n asked my fren to check for me as i was wearing short...

then she told me,

2 tires were punctured....

wat the!!!!!!

i.....

got speechless at that time....

y is this happening to me????

can someone please tell me???

for this sem,

beside getting into 2 accidents,

god wants me to get 2 tires puncture at the same time....

i was already so tensed up with my exam...

plus din do well in few papers in mid sem....

after my new myvi finished repairing,

now this saga that i'm driving.....

haih....

this time i really get scoldings from my dad....

but i really dunno y the tires will puncture...

ok,

according to the mechanic in the workshop,

one tire might got poked,

the other one,

might bcoz the tire was already run out of air....

i shud say,

somebody poke my tire,

or,

i was too stupid to not to keep checking on my car??

but it wasn't all my fault,

i really got no time to care about the car as i was too busy....

busy on studyings....

then yesterday i called my senior to change tires for me....

feel so bad coz always trouble him alot....

then,

my dad went for an operation yesterday...

although it's a minor operation,

but i feel bad coz i din know anything about it until my mom told me on the previous day...

then somemore make him worry bout me for my car's tires puncture....

he din admit hospital...

after the operation he went back home n rest....

my mom told me it was an operation to take off a lump on my dad's back...

a non harmful lump i guess....

then today both of my parents came to my college to take the tires to change....

**actually they took the car with the tires back lar... ^^

n send me the myvi at the same time....

i feel so troublesome to make them come all the way here to.....

haih....

i believe i'm a very useless daughter....

my mood actually very bad now....

err,

then back to just now....

juz now not long after my exam,

my mom called me on the phone....

she asked me about my paper....

i felt so terrible until so scared to face her....

dunno how to tell her....

she asked me y couldn't i do the paper...

i said i dunno....

n asked me was it bcoz i din finish study....

then i said i finish studied everything ady, but stil dunno how to do....

then,

she...

oso dunno wat to say lar....

she must be thinking,

"y r u so stupid??"

haha....

jkjk...

haih...

not funny...

i really dunno how to face my mom after all....

she must be very disappointed with my results for this sem....

i really feel bad mood now...

too many incidents happened to me recently....

many things go wrong this sem....

i was so not 'me'.....

i was so not right....

i was so.....

wrong.....

**sorry for making u confused with my blog,

i dunno how to write properly when my mood is this bad....

let me cry 1st...

to release some stress....